Never ask What's Up !

A lizard ate my potato chips

Crunched them up and then licked his lips

Once again I stepped in a gum

Someone spit it out, that scum

I was in silence for a total days of three

More than words, this damn silence felt free

Now my dress is stained

By this gosh darn acid rain

Someone cries "That woman is prettier than me"

Whatever you do, do not agree

Does this dress make me look fat?

HOW the hell does one answer that?

"Do you remember our very first date?

All the movies we saw and all the popcorns we ate?"

I forgot and chopped off all my hair

And have never known a more suited pair.

I hate getting invited for unavoidable weddings

The dresses and the lights get my eyelashes shedding

Here comes the bride

Please let us all go hide

Change the subject if you can

Or become a fully divorced man.

One cosmo, two cosmos, three cosmos, four

Take me home now, I IMPLORE.

One cosmo , two, three and bloody four

Someone poked me to say " I saw you yesterday night, in Bangalore?!"

Hark the herald angels sing

Kindly put an end to my suffering.

Strange is the word.

We live in a strange place. We become strange at times. We feel strange. Even more strange, when we start saying whatever comes to our mind. A little more strange than that when u start believing in the words that never existed. Strangest, when you realize it. 

I will not be scared of Guwahati anymore.

I will be fearless today.

I will walk down the streets of the city I grew up in

I will not be afraid

Of threats of bombs on Independence Day

Or of the hatred and greed of anyone.

I will not be afraid 

Of being molested and filmed

Of justice denied

I will not be scared of 

An upheaval wrought by brutes

I will take what it takes but

I will not be afraid today.

I will not smell explosives

I will not lose anyone in bombings

I will not see villages burning down 

and smokes and scream rising to the sky unattended

I will not see anyone 

Sitting helplessly in terror, on roads painted in blood

With faith turning into aggression 

Silent streets

Sudden cries

I will go out fearlessly

I will enjoy the river merrily frisking away

I will take pride in my culture 

I will dream

and I will dream till when

I walk fearlessly down the roads 

Of the city I love. 

I created a world just in ten minutes.

1. Climb a tree to check if legs are strong.

2. Do not forget to workout.

3. Read the newspaper.

4. Call Mom.

5. Learn ten new words.

6. Return a pending call.

.....

.....

This is my to-do list for the day. I just woke up to read it. It is adjusted in order on priority basis. Thankfully for a very fortunate friend, I decided to declare the first point a joke today. The second point has a negative connotation - so, I decided to ignore it. Third - Anna has started haunting me of late with his towering presence all over the media - so, I decided to relax instead. Fourth - It's prolly really early to shock her - procrastinate (read: old habits die hard).

Fifth - learn ten new words. Yes. Thankfully for people around me, I will be occupied with something. They decided to do all their important work till I learn ten new words. 

I put on my bold framed specs, looked at the mirror to ensure I look serious enough to care about ten new words and sat down at the table with the old never fading from memory, a friend to my memory cells, the good old oxford dictionary.

I flipped over a couple of pages and found a word -  'homologate'.
Homologate is new to me. Homologate -  Homo log -  homo -  gay -  queer pride -  last year we went for queer pride parade - it was a lot of fun - I learned a new slogan which went - 'hindu muslim sikh isai hetero homo bhai bhai' - rmy friend is a homo - what if he sits in ramlila maidan and fasts till gay marriage is legalized in India - will they pass a bill then? - will they care? - why will they not pass a bill? -a bill? - did I oh no! I haven't paid my internet bill - I am screwed. Am I? No. I am not. But my other friend sure is going to be. She is getting married. How will she stop falling for men? She has grown up having numerous crushes. How will she just live with one person and stop exploring other possibilities? How will she settle down with one kind of love just because the society pronounces it right. anyway her wedding is soon. Attending wedding is a fun affair. What will I wear! Should I wear bangles with whatever I wear? Obviously. But weddings. Marriages. Will I ever be forced to marry? Why? Who will force me? My parents won't. But what if I succumb to social pressure. Pressure really is bad for health. My best friend is under huge pressure. Is it right whatever my best friend is doing? Am I advising her right? She should just distract herself and concentrate on food maybe. Food! I will never have pizza. Its flour and cheese and I have grown fat. NEVER. But I need a new pair of specs. It should be different. I will buy the one my friend has. He is trying so hard to convince people and is answering those unwanted questions! Its a pity he has to tell his parents it is not his fault that he is a gay. Being homosexual is a matter of time and choice. Why would people care about who finds peacein what sort of an arrangement, let alone homosexuals people. Homo people. Homo- log. Homolog. sounds familiar. Homolog??? Yes, I remember, Oh no!! HOMOLOGATE!!!!

Yes, the dictionary. Ten new words. I had to learn ten new words. I am not even done with the first. Oh holy shit, ten minutes gone. Like, poof.

Jasper's song of love.

Jasper the parrot sat on his perch,

Abandoned and occupied with thoughts, left in the lurch

Gave his heart to a flighty mynah bird,

Said she’d marry him, gave him her word.

But then she met a rooster in the barn,

Told her the story, told her the yarn,

She went to Jasper, said, Sorry, my Jock,

I really like you but I’m going for the Cock

Now our dear Japser, Heartbroken and replaced,

Not knowing what figures he had misplaced,

Abandoned and occupied with thoughts, left in the lurch

Jasper the parrot sat on his perch.

After Jasper mourns , not much

I pray, finds a beautiful bird to love.

Even if he doesn't not grow old with her,

I hope she helps my Japser in growing old, healthy and wise.

DAY TWO of cooking : Finger unfriendly.

I smartly applied physics and covered the pan for it to happen faster applying all the thermodynamics I once failed to produce in pen and paper. While uncovering, I touched the cover almost forgetting the conduction of heat that happened. "Excitement dominated conduction" followed by "conduction dominated excitement".

Excitement 0, Conduction 100.

But I gave up, sincerely. I decided, then and there.

Burned fingers, I mean - it means a lot to me. Facts about My fingers -

1. The first poem I wrote in my life was on fingers. People had better topics than I did but for me it was 'My fingers'.

2. It is important for me to take care of my fingers. And cooking harmed it.

So, I gave up.

In life, we give up on a lot of things. We hold on to many.

Giving up on cooking isn't easy as I will never be able to create the wonders I keep gluttoning.

But one more damage to my finger will never be tolerated.

Farewell, my dear excellent short-lived passion for cooking, may the lord shower upon you his endless countless blessing so that I can testify my love for you by being a gourmand, and leave the job of satiating my greed for food to all the gourmets.

What the brinjal!

What do you exactly do? This is what I 'exactly' do.

I have taken a gap year. Now gap year does not mean I don't do anything. I mean I have taken a gap year from formal education. Some of my loved near and dear ones seem very worried. They have a habit of constantly asking me what I am exactly doing. I logged into facebook to have 18 messages in my inbox full of questions. I started anwering the question bank, but I soon stopped and thought of writing this note.

Okay, for those who know and do not bother me, thank you. And for others, just to confuse them at the bargain of others entertainment, here is what I do.

I wake up every morning like everyone does and I go to office. Which office? It is an office where I am the boss. I fix up my work every day. I do whatever I wish to do. I am not rude to myself. I pay myself regularly, more than once a month.I have several employees and they change every day. My employees look forward to me. I learn from my employees. I steal their clothes and I run away to places. My office basically deals in demand and supply. Demand is maximum and supply is even better. I turn it into a travel agency when I wish to, into a book shop, into a food joint, into an artist's gallery, into a music studio, into a cafeteria, into a sports field, into a philosopher's paradise as per the demands of  my mood. And there is no loss ever. It is profit-stuck and struck.

This is it.

Now I hate getting calls and being questioned about my whereabouts and my purpose and intention behind doing things because I am a busy boss just at 21 and I have a lot of work to do.

My love for every one.

My love story, since about love, it is necessary!

i will tell you about my story

since about love, it is VERY necessary

i did not wear a perfume from Morocco

and it did not happen in the famous opera houses of Monaco

it did not happen over Liszt's liebestraum

or over wine, beer and rum

he saw me

i saw him

fantasy! fantasy!! not chopin's or dark, but the regular fantasy!!!

i did not want a that-kind-of-a-u-know relationship

the idea makes me want to whip (cream re, not people)

and i wanted a life time affair

for things in society to be just and fair (u know just in case)

so that the same-to-same person

i forever cling to in every season

so that i get a lifetime insurance

of a forever company, an assurance.

i could have taken a pet

but i have not much of these hi-fi brains, i bet

i could have made a friend

but guarantee is not a kind-of nowadays trend.

then i decided, after i wake from my deep grand slumber

be it the king or the plumber

any man i see after my sleep

as my husband, him i will keep.

and now see

gladly gladly

i am married

with the plan i carried

read again: i am married. :D

with whom, oh ask not!

to take his name, no permission have I got

no newspaper wanted to tell the world

the story of my marriage that was untold.

but thank you facebook wall

you are like my marriage hall.

who is it?

'I am the name of the sound.

I am the sound of the name.'

perfect.

perfect!

DOUGH-NUTS...a farewell.

i have been strangely obsessed with doughnuts. i always was. as lovely as it is, for its love, for its search....i have voluntarily endured in me want of exercise, a worry-ing temperament for worry of the extra fats doughnuts cause. i have had a traumatic guilt rushing through my blood. not because i had one doughnut. but because i had doughnuts in series.
eventually, as i grew old with doughnuts, i developed a taste for it. the best doughnuts, the not so good ones and the ones which are fair enough to just satiate the greed.
as time passed by, everything was out of focus, because the focus was always on the best now. here comes another want i adopted. the want of travelling to the place where the doughnut is best.
life was at its best, but these worries have deprived me of my peace of mind.
now i will see the doughnut as just a doughnut, not worth a thought.

i hereby, renounce my greed and non-satiable want for doughnut. doughnuts...!!!

farewell, my dearest, excellent doughnut. may the lord shower upon you his countless endless blessings and save me, so that i can testify my love for you time and again.

to cut a long story short

Carnival of clouds_

Grasshoppers hopped in ordered choreography_________..

Anu came rushing to her room…
Painted walls and graffiti
Cheerful walls
Happy colours


Her watered eyes
Resentful voice under her heavy breath…
Turned off the “happy” music..
She threw herself into the bed

Sobbing…
Cheerlessly!

Her mother entered

A high profile portray
Cheerful and heavy diamonds all around..
Concealed wrinkles with the bliss of make-up kits.

Amidst the cheerful walls
N happy colours..
She couldn’t see the cheerless tears in her daughter’s eyes..
Bagged in some wet tissues_
Mom was off to a painting exhibition…
She wanted to make the walls

Look cheerful enough!

Food was kept for anu next to her bed
She covered the food_
Turned to call back her mom…

Glass panes..
Window sills…
The car, with mom made its way…

Grasshoppers hopped in ordered choreography_..

Wipers.
Tissues.
The painting n the mother returned.


Bang. Bang. Bang…
The door was shut from inside..

The gardener…
Broke the door open..

Pale face.
Wet tissues.
Blood and blades.

The body covered in a white sheet
Was dragged out in style.

The happy walls….
Stared!!!

The mother ran…
And grabbed the waterproof mascara.
With Tissues, she wiped her tired face_
The gardener stood still.
happy colours looked sad


Mom checked the mirror
Mascara was perfectly put!!

Covered food lay on the table..
Unnoticed…

Grasshoppers hopped…
in random choreography_____..

the painting cheered the wall…but,
The wall looked sad_

kalakaar

its a wednesday.
class started sharp at 8.40 as always..

theory class in a lab.
we sat.
gossips and anecdotes of previous day and future plans were being discussed.
time just passed so easily...we were joined in by another member who came inside the class sharp at 9.15
class gets over at 9.25.
punctuality knew no limits when it came to her.
we share her stories too.
all very happy.
maam decides to check everyone's register for some freaky solution of some freaky question.
4 of us look at the board and at each other, in parallel motion.
blank.
x,y,z,alpha,gamma,+,-....could'nt relate.
all so so lost.
now, my dear friend, a little bothered than others about her impression on teachers, starts scribbling something very seriously in her register with crinkled serious eyes!
zapped, we look at her_
not a clue of what she's doing!
i presumed she got the theory behind the question and started solving....genius indeed...speechless i was!
seeing her scribble seriously, ma'am thought she must be busy doing calculations.
thought its better to leave her undisturbed and turned away from the four of us.
four of us were saved _
after ma'am's departure, we snatched her register
..with hope,for help!!
our dear friend left us amazed!
she was scribbling one single expression (equation) for 5 minutes all over again!!
serious calculations indeed!!!!

it was smthng like:
ax+by+c=0
ax+by+c=o
ax+by+c=o
ax+by+c=o
ax+by+c=o
ax+by+c=o
.
.
.
.
.

*neat actress,must say*

my first successful song(lyrically). for shoili.

this is a song i wrote for shoili
that she can sing when she's "lonely"

when she next goes to drink some tea
she can pause, and think of me.

roses are red, nuts are brown.
skirts go up...PANTS GO DOWN!!

Runnin through the brush
In a quiet hush

I’m listening to the fray
Dont call me gay

If I really was straight,
Then why is it boys that I hate?

I like to drink
until my face turns pink

we are golden..aah
..we are g-o-l-d-e-n!!

schrodinger's the man,
i love andaa in the frying pan.

as i sit here in the tree
singing twee-dee-dee

i will never have a bad life
as i will never become a good wife !! (chorus)

we are silent.

the dry chapped hand

in search of food and can

its hunting hungry bright eyes

tiny little ones

naked and

tear brimmed eyes.

one side of the road

stands tall academic buildings

the other side,

just a 'silent cry'.

the one word

If I am a song

and you are a bird

How I long for just

one word,

To make you the one.

scared with tears

of hunger

of fear

crave for a smile

a hand to hold

a wish to be

like the other-half of the world

when i see you

the childhood in you

i look and try to find

the child

has no childhood inside its kind.

i dont make sense. i make non sense

I have a problem, a "symmetry-recognition" problem. (it is my own term because abha maam asked us to define our own terms in our own life).

In an effort to improve the way in which I differentiate between symmetrical / similar looking things, I am trying to be more vigilant with guessing.

One of the things I always seem to make a hash of, is the confusion between daaye and baaye / left and right, especially with the campus rickshawalas. Another top shot being, utla and seedha in case of tees I wear for 8.40 classes in the morning when I wake up late. The realization hits only when the rickshawala takes the wrong turn/ when the professor is teaching something really interesting and your concentration goes to a different level when your eyes grasp the attention of the should-not-be-seen-hem/tag of the tee.

I am not aiming for perfection,I like the stream flow of consciousness / ramble style of guessing that seems to come so naturally to me. At the moment, I am just confused about where to start perfect-ing myself from. Left or right, daaye ya baaye!?!.

May be daaye. That's right. There are no really wrong answers, just observations that

may or may not lead the conversation somewhere.